A short story…

This was written by a 13-year old of my acquaintance, and I thought it was rather fabulous and wanted to share it.  I trust you’ll enjoy it as I did.

Princess of the Flames

I knew that he had no idea how I had got out again.

He had done everything: bolted the door, taken down the ladder, locked the windows, and yet he still discovered that I had some means of escape when he left for town and saw me there.  I shouldn’t have run when I saw him. He wouldn’t have taken any notice of me then.  

Once I knew he had seen me I did not run any farther – I knew it would have been useless and he would have caught me eventually.  In fact, all it would have done was madden him, and he had little sanity anyway.  So I just turned, and stopped, and let him snarl at me the whole way back to the house he was keeping me in.  However, once I had sat down on the cold, hard ground next to the fireplace, my cooperation lost existence.

I could feel him looking at me from the back, but no matter how persistent the feeling of someone staring at me was, I continued gazing into the happy, dancing flames.

“How did you escape?” His gravelly voice broke into the still silence.

I turned to him then, my eyes pummeling straight into his, which were colder than the snow outside and more loveless than his heart.  No words escaped my lips.  I knew what would happen if they did.  And it would end in me washing my blood from my face.  But I did not cry either.  I just kept my face as still and smooth as ice, showing no fear in my expression.

He smiled a sickly smile at me.  Is that meant to be reassuring?

“Tasia, if you want any food any time soon, you’d better tell me how you got out.”  I could tell by the tone in his voice that he didn’t plan on letting me get away with not telling him.

Don’t speak, DON’T SPEAK!  “Why do you keep me here?”  I swore and spat at myself in my mind, wishing, hoping and praying that he wouldn’t hit me again.

Once again the sticky-sweet smile was plastered into his features, and he was very calm – surprisingly so – in his reply. “Why, because when they realize that the princess is missing,” he chuckled as I grimaced at the title, “they will surely pay a high price to get their lost princess back.”

“But I wasn’t lost!” I yelled, knowing that I was giving him what he wanted by showing anger at his remarks.  “I ran away! I…” I sighed, “I could have been happy.  I could’ve been free, my own person.  Whoever I wanted me to be.  I could’ve – no, I would’ve – climbed mountains, ridden on clouds, touched stars.  But even running didn’t bring me freedom.  It brought me to you,” I spat.

His smile dripped off his face, and he suddenly got a look in his eyes that could send the bravest of men to his grave.

But I was no man, cowardly or otherwise, and I knew what was coming.  And as his hand quickly swung towards my head, I swiftly grabbed his arm, and used the force and energy that he had used to try to hit me against him, and dragged him in one quick movement into the fire, head first.

He leapt back almost as quickly as he had gone in, and after leaping about to put out the fire on his head, he yelled after me as I ran out of the room, “One day, you spawn of Satan, I will kill you.”

The inimitable Georgette Heyer…

It would seem I’ve been procrastinating…but that’s not actually the case.

What is the case is that I’ve got so much on my plate that any multi-tasking capabilities I may have possessed have run for the proverbial hills, leaving me with about three half-written blogs, piles of reading on Russian foreign policy circa 1812, half a sonnet frollicking about in my head, and too many characters from the next books standing in the wings, tapping their feet, waiting for their cue to come on.

[And the answer to "Ha ha, how do you sleep well at night?" is "Not very well really...I wake up at about four and..."]

Anyway.

Recently, I was reminded by a friend’s complaints about the cheesiness of much of today’s literary marketing of a letter I received from a literary agent, a female of the species.  Which actually, in retrospect, amused me.

blokeI had sent this individual the opening chapters for my novel, Of Honest Fame, you see, along with the usual charming, banterful letter and a synopsis.

Then, after the obligatory wait of several months, said agent had returned the sample chapters along with a rejection letter in which she compared the work to the novels of Georgette Heyer–novels for which, she assured me, there was no market.

From this fatuous comparison, I deduced she had either been drinking…and/or was terminally stupid…and most assuredly had never read any of Heyer’s work.  [Even since her death in 1974, Heyer's works have NEVER been out of print.]

Hence after my incredulous, “What?” you will understand that my uppermost emotion was relief at the lucky save!

[Exactly what about a boy setting a corpse alight and later getting the basting of a lifetime could possibly remind anyone of a novel by Georgette Heyer still eludes me.  But then, I fear I am too literal in my understanding of these things.

What I'm guessing this creature was dim-wittedly trying to say was that the novel was set in the early 19th century, quite possibly the Regency, and therefore something or other...And I confess, one longed to meet the dotty female and say, "Yes, dear, the novel is set in the early 19th century.  And so is War and Peace.  Or can you not spell that?"]

But lately, you know, I’ve been seeing Miss Heyer’s name splashed about a fair bit–usually on the cover of some allegedly Regency novel  [just like Georgette Heyer, the endorsement gushes] a term which was coined to describe some, though not all of her work–and this has actually made me want to spit teeth.

1812_greatcoatFor this comparison can only be based on the crudest and most simple-minded assessment of Heyer’s work–although, interestingly enough, in Heyer’s lifetime, critics of her work dismissed it with the words, “another Georgette Heyer.”

And perhaps this is the problem.  And it’s an ongoing one.

Because both of those statements about Heyer reveal how little the author/reviewer knows or understands of Heyer’s work, whilst at the same time committing  the absolute bimbonic folly of fancying that a novel’s quality can be deduced from what the characters are wearing and where/when the thing is set..

To imagine that a novel is nothing more than a plotline, a time period and a few stock characters–thus anyone who writes a thing set in the early 19th century must of necessity be writing like Miss Heyer–is to wholly underestimate and undervalue the extra-ordinary talent, apparently effortless prose style, and wit of this quintessentially British author.  It’s like saying all bars of soap are the same.

Or put another way, it is to be criminally stupid and terminally, intellectually myopic.  Ehem.

(Just as when I see contemporary authors comparing their own works to hers, I mark them down as delusional.)

Because Georgette Heyer is inimitable.

There is no one like her.

Just as no one is like P.G. Wodehouse.

Heyer was a one-off, an original, a woman of tremendous talent who backed up every book with oodles of hard work and endless research, at a time when the historical novel–light, dark or in-between–hardly existed.

She was a pioneer.

Both Wodehouse and Heyer were authors of a certain era, who because of the tremendous ease with which they created their fictional worlds, their prodigeous talent for making prose flow like rippling, streams of wit, dominated the literary scene for more than five decades of the 20th century, without equal.

Like Wodehouse, her sentence and paragraph construction are peerless.

Highgate Tunnel Mail coachAnd like Wodehouse and the world of Blandings Castle, Heyer created a parallel Regency London and initially Sussex (where she grew up)–one without politics, the nastiness of war or assassination or Napoleon, one where the West End and Mayfair were clean and bright and rarely raining [we wish!] and most people rubbed along tolerably well.  And it is against this delicious confection of a backdrop that she set her tales, many of which were plays on the traditional favourite, the Cinderella story.

You know the drill, poor female requires handsome rich prince to see through the tatters of her shyness and the ashes of her genteel poverty, her lower position in society, and recognising her true merit, her lovely laughter and wit, sweep her off to a happy, rich, life…Yadda yadda yadda…

And certainly given that during the early 19th century and indeed looking honestly at the career opportunities for women in the early 20th century, the Cinderella story is a fitting one–without a man, particularly a rich one to provide, life didn’t offer many choices, and even fewer bonuses.

Equally, unlike in real life, in Heyer’s world, the aristocracy and gentry were plentiful; the male of the species were witty, urbane, amused, well-dressed and loaded–all alpha males with a sublime sense of humour, great shoulders and a starched cravat.

But this, my friends and companions, is where Heyer gets interesting.  Because she is not writing the standard Cinderella story in as many permutations as she can manage.  Rather she is subverting the genre even as she is creating it.

Georgette Heyer was born in 1902, in Wimbledon.  She lived through and remembered all her life that period of turmoil when women got the vote, when at last they were allowed into universities like Oxford and Cambridge, when a certain equality with males appeared possible.  For women, the world in which Heyer grew up was one of new, untried and unexplored horizons.  And Heyer, rather than writing the same old same old took that standard formulaic romance, broke the mold and turned it upside down, bless her.

If, as the Arab saying has it, “stories teach people how to live”, then Heyer was writing the template for the new millenia’s women.

Indeed, from the outset, Heyer’s females were not the simpering, swooning simpletons beloved by her fellow pioneers of historical fiction, Baroness D’Orzy and Raphael Sabatini.  [Recall, Heyer's first published work, The Black Moth, came out in 1921.]  Instead, she started as she meant to go on and in her works, it was all to play for.

tea on the lawn-sandbyThe Masqueraders, published in 1928, gave the female protagonist the lead male’s role and gave to her brother the role of pantomime princess, beautifully dressed and undetected in female garb.  And whilst this may have been a play on the history of the Scottish uprising of 1745 and the fact that Bonnie Prince Charlie escaped from Scotland dressed as a servant woman, and equally, the British stage has a long tradition of males in female roles, I cannot begin to imagine how this played in 1950′s America.  If it played at all.

The Corinthian, published in 1940, took the Cinderella lead and gave it to the rich hero.  Sir Richard Wyndham is rescued (he says it himself) from the onerous duties and ties of family and financial expectation by the young rebel, Pen Creed–the ashes of his wealth and the tatters of his fine clothes seen through by this rebel-child of a girl with decided opinions, a wicked sense of humour and wearing boy’s clothing, thus ensuring Richard’s future happiness.

The Grand Sophy (1950) takes matters even further.  Sophy isn’t just masterful, she masters the whole family–who admittedly need it.  But there is nothing shrinking or feeble or swooning about her.  She’s about as far from the Victorian virgin-ideal as one could hope to get.  And reading her, I have no doubt, empowered a whole generation of young women, engendering in them the belief that they could surmount any and all obstacles, even as it encouraged them to be amusing, wise and formidable, and still be lovable.

(Since girls of the 1950s were still being encouraged to laugh at a bloke’s jokes, even when they weren’t funny, to shut up and listen and hide their own intelligence, this is probably a great deal more subversive than we might today think.)

tomkinsVenetia (1958), Frederica (1965), A Lady of Quality [Annis Wychwood] (1972), all provide further proof of her talent for upending convention.  None of these main female characters are blushing debutantes.  They are all older, wiser, savvier, pragmatic, with good, sound heads on their shoulders, shouldering burdens that the men in their lives have shied from.  They are vibrant, confident, self-assured, the intellectual equal if not superior of their male counterparts, with a self-knowledge to rival that of a seasoned philosopher.

And none of them want rescuing.  Indeed, often it is they who are more likely to mount the white charger and ride to the aid of their men…

But while Heyer may be mounting a subterfuge of a campaign on behalf of capable women everywhere, she does so with such finesse, such charming irony and delicious wit, that what might be a provocative storyline of female empowerment is couched in a flow of easily digested, apparently innocuous delight.

And yet, what an ironic wit she had.  Her authorial voice was unique.  Delicate, graceful, laced with genial good-humour, and without the cruelty of some of Austen’s observations, Heyer poked fun without poking anyone in the eye.

Listen to this:  ”Fashion was not kind to George…”  Or she will write of a lady “enjoying ill-health”–how much more tolerant than Austen’s descriptions of Lady Bertram?  That lightness of touch has more in common with Wodehouse, surely.

And she is, I will be honest, quite possibly greatest though when she writes of sisters, aunts and mothers.  She captured these relationships with all their  invisible, manipulative, endearing and powerful strings attached as no one before her or since.  She writes them all honestly, graciously, humorously, with her tongue firmly fixed in her right cheek…

Her prose is as smooth and effortlessly elegant as the unfurling of silk pennants in the breeze–like “drowning in honey, stingless”–and is unmatchable and unrivalled.

And behind of and in back of all this was the strength of her unending research, her notebooks filled with slang, with details of dress, of society, family, invention and history.

Interestingly too, unlike the current craze for implausible aristocratic titles that one may encounter between the pages of contemporary historical romances, as she grew older, Heyer came more and more to favour stories of the gentry and professional classes.  

Almacks CruikshankBlack Sheep, A Lady of Quality, Frederica, Charity Girl, The Nonesuch, Cotillion, Arabella, The Toll-gate…whether she was playing to the new ideal of meritocracy and equality in the 20th century or whether she was sidestepping the Labour-inspired class warfare issues, I cannot tell you.  But these novels are most assuredly not filled with scenes at Almack’s, tales of the ton, or tired witticisms allegedly spoken by George Brummell–the cliche-ridden world of so-called Regency romances.

If Heyer has a failing at all, it is in her male protagonists–too many of them read exactly the same and might be carbon copies of one another:  bored, well-dressed, sporty, self-indulgent.  And they become invariably soppy at the end–which I personally find sick-making.  But that’s just me.

Still…when I recounted the sorry tale of my rejection to a friend, an Oxford don (male), his reaction was as far from mine as could be.  ”She compared you to Georgette Heyer?” he said.  ”No one has ever paid me a compliment like that.  If they had, it would have been the greatest compliment of my life!  I would give anything to be compared to her…Wow!”

Which also makes me laugh.  For truth is, I know how hard she worked and I respect her too much to even dream of aspiring to be her equal…

The Lion at Bay…

Let’s be totally clear here.  I am an absolute fool for beautiful language.

Actually, I go well beyond “fool”.  Indeed, it might be more accurate to describe me as careering into abject devotion territory.

I know, you thought that Shakespeare’s Sonnet 57, which begins, Being your slave, what should I do but tend/Upon the hours and times of your desire…was written for some female or other who might or might not have been called The Dark Lady.

But that’s where you’re wrong.  Because, in fact, it’s about me.

Yes, that’s right.  Shakespeare was writing about me, and my starry-eyed breathlessness and utter self-abnegating devotion to the sheer blissfulness of his poetry and language…

He was also writing about me and my relationship with John Donne–also on account of his poetry and language.  Ehem.

And he was writing about me and Gerard Manley Hopkins…and me and Sir Christopher Fry…and Sir Tom Stoppard…and Pierre de Ronsard…and Homer (the Iliad recited in Homeric Greek is one of the most resplendent works ever to be heard, I promise you)…and Sorley Maclean…and now, the historical novelist, Robert Low.

(Yes, I know he looks like Father Christmas…he might well be Father Christmas for all I know…this writing lark could be his day job, you never know…)

Let’s be clear about another thing, shall we?

I don’t–that is DO NOT–read novels set in the Middle Ages.  I just don’t.

And it’s not that they’re outside my comfort zone or something, it’s that they’re well within it because a long time ago, when camels ruled the earth and all that, I was a mediaevalist and spent my time studying things like the mediaeval European Economics and Anglo-Saxon open field farming and the rise of the guilds and the demographic changes wrought by the Black Death…that is, until I hit sensory and intellectual overload and said, “Nope.  Can’t stick this.  Not at any price.”

lionatbay2For Rob, however, I make an exception.  Because of the immaculate and exquisite artistry he brings to writing in the English language.  I can’t help myself.  I say this having just finished reading his superlative novel, The Lion at Bay–second in his sequence of historical novels about Robert the Bruce, entitled simply The Kingdom.

This is the third paragraph of the new work.  Listen to it.  Feel it.  See it.

The riders were dripping and miserable as old mud, the horses standing with their heads down, hipshot in a sea of tawny bracken and the clawed black roots of heather and furze, only the moss splashed a dazzle of green into the mirr.

Right, that’s it.  I’m his.  Wholly and unconditionally.  And I can no more walk away from this book or these visions of a Scotland, beautiful and rain-swept, riven by conflict–both personal and national–than I can walk away from an eclair au chocolat.  It is not going to happen.

(And if it didn’t make you swoon with the wonder and beauty and wet of it, well, you’re a heartless, soulless, poetryless, anti-literary  nincompetantpoop, and there is nothing I can do for you…)

But that was only the opening.  And that’s what gets me about this guy!  Because every page has at least one paragraph–usually two or three–where I have to stop and read it again, savour it in my mouth, hold it there, breathing through it, allowing its flavours to seep into my head like the finest old wine–I mean, honestly?  This is Chateau Lafite 1929 for the mind.

How about this for literary gorgeousness?

Steam from horses and riders blended with the fine gruel of churned up mud and snow in a sluggish mist that will filled with shouts and grunts and clashes of steel so that the men behind Bruce shifted their horses…Beyond the mud-frothed field loomed the great, dark snow-patched bulk of the castle, where ladies of the court watched from the comfort of a high tower, surrounded by charcoal braziers, swaddled in comforting furs and gloved, so that their applause would sound like the pat of mouse feet…

How beautiful is that in imagery?  In its cadences?  In invention?  In evoking the sounds?  The smells?  The atmosphere?

And so deliciously expressive in its use of language!  Fine gruel of churned up mud and snow in a sluggish mist…?  Mud-frothed field…?  How wondrous is that?

roberthebruceAnd yet, despite the marvel of his language, his artistry in depicting the people and the canvas that was mediaeval Scotland at its most ravaged and clan-torn, this is not lavender kid-glove historical fiction, to be peered at, refinedly, through one’s mother-of-pearl encrusted lorgnette.  For The Lion at Bay charts the period from 1304, between Robert Bruce’s tentative peace with Edward Longshanks–which temporarily halted the English ruination of Scotland–through the saddening decline of William Wallace’s band and his execution, Bruce’s hasty coronation and onto the death (whew!) of Longshanks himself.

It was a dark, terrible and savage time, and Low makes no excuses for depicting the reality of that period which forged the Scots nation and character.

Through a handful of fictional characters with whom one has bonded in quite a personal way in the previous novel, through them–Hal of Herdmanston, Dog-boy (my favourite!), Sim Craw, Kirkpatrick–Low enables the reader to see what they must have seen, to hear and to know, to experience their fears, their grim war-fatigue, their despairing longings for peace, their ruthlessness and vindictive  rage–against the English, against themselves, against their fellow Scots.

I will admit–at one point, I just had to stop reading for a bit.  The level of destruction wrought by the Scots upon each other as they sought to redress imagined and real slights to their honour and loyalties, was so relentless and hate-filled, that I, like Low’s characters, experienced a level of sinking battle-fatigue and loss.  That is fine story-telling!

Low’s depiction of the Bruce–surely the central character around whom all others revolved at this period of history–is masterful.  At once cunning and courageous, physically flawed, driven by doubt, by hubris, by rage, by honour, by glory.  Bruce is no Hollywood hero, but a fracturing and real individual, one whose longing for the crown and his determination to wear it has cost him (and his compatriots) more than he ever knew existed.   Truthfully, he takes my breath away.

As ever, Low’s attention to detail is a wonder–his knowledge of weaponry and warfare (and horses and people) an inspiration.  He is articulate and precise without ever being heavy-handed or pedantic.  Then too, I particularly appreciate his innate understanding of how vital religion and the religious controversies and politics of the day were to everyone.  He never ducks the issue for the sake of squirming by the political correctness brigade.

RobertLowTo the mediaeval Christian mind, especially to those who were bound by their vows as knights, there was no doubt in the truth or the sanctity of the Church’s teachings–doctrines which permeated the very landscape of the inner selves–their daily rituals, their thoughts, their speech defined in detail by the Church–even down to how they might or might not kill their enemy on the jousting field in God’s tourney.  And whilst, again, Low is not heavy-handed, he expertly fashion this world in which the Church was integral and powerful and the common expression of approbation, “Christ be praised!” was always followed by the response, “Forever and ever.”

But as ever, it is the glory of his language that rejoices the heart:  He heard distant laughter, a burst on the breeze, saw the red-flower flutter of flames and shrank away from it, crabbing towards the wall of the garth until the stones nudged his back…

Though Low writes of the barbarity and horror of civil war, of decency and devotion among the ashes and stones, the keening loss of the Scots for their lands and children, all of it, every last morsel of it is written with the pen of a lover and poet, transforming this most bitter of conflicts into a raw and savage beauty.

(Even if he does look like Father Christmas…in the event that Father Christmas wears beads in his beard.)

~~~~~~~

The Lion at Bay by Robert Low.  Harper Collins, London, 2012.  422 pps.  £14.99.

I’ve been tagged for the Next Big Thing…

It will come as no surprise to those of you who know me that I’ve been tagged by the rather charming Debra Brown, author of The Companion of Lady Holmeshire, in a blog game called The Next Big Thing.

This game involves answering questions about my work-in-progress or a piece that I would like to become the next big thing!  And after the questions, I will tag five more authors.

Ten Interview Questions for The Next Big Thing:
 
1.) What is the title of your book?
 
Or Fear of Peace
 
2.) Where did the idea come from for the book?
 
From the British viewpoint, the historical and fictional focus during the Napoleonic wars tends to be the Peninsular Campaign (fought under the command of the Duke of Wellington), the Naval conflict in which the Royal Navy led by Lord Nelson and others trumped the French, and Waterloo where the British and Allied forces–again commanded by Wellington–defeated Napoleon for good and all. 
 
But those battles and campaigns, as outstanding and inspired and ginormous as they were, aren’t the biggest, the most costly, or the most devastating campaigns or battles of the Napoleonic era.  Not at all.  The big battles, the battles which determined the fates of nations, towns and millions of souls, were fought in central Europe–in modern-day Germany, Poland, Czechoslovakia and Russia. 
 
And it was there, in the heart of Europe, that the Russian Tsar and his indomitable and long-suffering troops (paid for by British subsidies of over £1 million) forged a final Coalition of forces–Russians, Prussians, Austrians, British and Swedes–who fought like stink to defeat Napoleon and his vast military machine. 
 
It was the most extra-ordinary uprising by these–on the surface–fairly mediocre monarchs to throw off the enslaving yoke of Napoleonic tyranny which had destroyed their kingdoms, their empires in some cases, their economies, their populations. 
 
Napoleon was a warlord.  A monster of war, if you like.  And his vast appetite for conquest, for military glory, for pillage, had consumed all of Europe.  And these three countries–Prussia, Russia and Austria–all of which had been badly beaten and appallingly treated by Napoleon in victory, managed to pull themselves and their outmoded armies together to defend themselves and to defeat him in the years 1813-14.  And I just think that’s so inspiring. 
 
It transformed the way people thought about themselves, their national interest, their lands…
 
It’s a story that has everything:  cowardice beyond your wildest dreams, monumental folly, courage and sheer bloody-minded determination, heartbreak, love, glory, treachery and triumph, love and defeat…and out of the ashes of that a European peace that would last nearly a century. 
  
3.) Under what genre does your book fall?
 
Generic historical fiction, I’d guess.  More specifically, historical spy thriller probably…I always have spies and I enjoy writing history with the pace of a John LeCarre novel.
 
4.) Which actors would you choose to play your characters in a movie rendition?
 
This is probably the most difficult question of all, because I don’t think in terms of modern actors.  Not ever.  I work from period portraits and miniatures.  Then too, many of my characters are actual historical figures, so whoever played them would need to have their look.  And mostly, I don’t even try to put together a face or imagine any actors in the roles when I’m writing.  But I’ll give it a go.
 
Captain Shuster:  possibly Rob James-Collier–he has the right colouring, he’s tall enough and I imagine he’d do very well with the extra-ordinary and harsh drive that propelled these men.
 
Boy Tirrell:  Absolutely no idea!  An unknown would be best, because that kid is a shadow…(though my view of the character has very much been influenced by the portrait used in the cover for Of Honest Fame.)
 
Laurent Picamole:  A Frenchman in his mid-30s.  Tall, and a good horseman.
 
Brundle:  No idea.
 
Lord Castlereagh:  someone who looks like him?
 
Sir Charles Vane Stewart:  (Castlereagh’s younger half-brother) Again, someone who looks the part, but also someone who can play drunken wildness very well. 
 
Lord Dunphail:  A tall, dark-redhead of a Scot. 
 
The main thing would have to be they’re all fighters…determined, steely, fighting men.
 
5.) What is the one-sentence synopsis of your book?
 
In a world engulfed in war, the only thing more fearsome than Napoleon’s army is peace–for when did peace with Napoleon lead to anything but ceaseless woe?
 
6.) Will your book be self-published or represented by an agency?
 
I expect that my current publisher, Diiarts, will publish it.  They’ve given every indication that that is their intention…I have the contract which says so, somewhere…
 
7.) How long did it take you to write the first draft of your manuscript?  And read the intro.
 
Since I don’t write a straight draft, not ever, that’s moot.  I write a chapter at a time, editing and rewriting, until that chapter is perfect or as perfect as I can make it.  That may take 3-4 weeks or even longer.  And only when it’s complete do I move on to the next scene or chapter…
 
“Sat like a phasmid, still and wingless, his mouse-coloured coat no more seen among the tiles and slates and chimney-stacks than a heap of old sacking, for three days the boy had been watching the house on Mount Street.  Watching from the leads beneath the summer moods of a fitful London sky, watching as the shadows and light trailed across the classical portico and fine brick face, patient under a patient sky, watching as the morning was bleached of colour and the linens dried white in the yard.  Measuring out the hours from first waking to the lingering midsummer dusk which tarried like a dawdling gabey and counting the number of servants that remained within–the housekeeper, a maid, and two menservants. 
 
“Clocking their comings and goings, from that time when the scullery sashes were thrown open to admit the day, until the hour of shutting in when the jowly steward went about locking the doors and checking that the upper windows were shuttered and barred.  Perched beside an attic dormer or slouched against the flaunching of an adjacent chimney, the boy watched as the long hot hours dropped like weights, indifferent to the herring gulls and house sparrows which congregated near and far, chirruping and raucous, across the red tile ridges of the rooftops that stretched away in every direction.”
 
8.) What other books would you compare this story to within your genre?
 
Dorothy Dunnett’s novels covered a vast array of themes, characters and plots and sub-plots against a backdrop of impeccable research…I’d like to think I follow in her footsteps, though in a different time period obviously.  I’m told I write John LeCarre collides with Jane Austen in a Charles Dickens’ Sauce–is that a genre?
 
9.)  Who or what inspired you to write this book?
 
My last book, Of Honest Fame, didn’t end the way I expected it to.  I had intended for the third book I wrote about the Napoleonic wars to pick up the story of Ned Hardy, a character from May 1812.  And to begin with, I spent a lot of time trying to work out how I could combine the unfinished business from Of Honest Fame with the stand-alone story and themes I’d been intending to explore in book three.  But I eventually realised I couldn’t do it. 
 
But I knew that I had to take the story of those characters from Of Honest Fame forward to the natural conclusion of the war–which is the Congress of Vienna in 1814…
 
And in the meantime, I’ve had readers–who were as surprised as me by the open ending of the previous book–nagging (it’s the only word for it and I love them for it!) me to carry the story forward…
 
Then too, there are all those men who pulled themselves up by the bootstraps and fought on against these incredible odds to beat the most powerful military machine the world had ever seen.  They didn’t start out as anything special, these men, but through their tenacity in rising to the meet the exigencies of their age, they became magnificent.  I have just untold admiration for every last one of them.  They just go on inspiring me to want to get their stories out there.
 
10.)  What else about your book might pique the reader’s interest? 
 
I’d like to think readers appreciate the extent and depth of the research I bring to my work.  I’d like to think too that the literary style is something quite special.  Though probably the fact that I always write about spies and the intelligence networks and weave that through the narrative is what gets most people going. 
 
But more important I think is this:  that my aim is not just to maybe a little show the reader what things looked like, but rather to put them in the room.  I don’t want them to read it.  I want them to live it.  To experience it.  To breathe it. 
 
At the end of the novel, if I’ve done my work correctly, the reader shouldn’t feel that they just read a great book about the last act of the Napoleonic wars, but that they were there.  That they saw it.  Heard it.  That if they reached out–they could touch the crumbling walls of Leipzig or the pristine painted surfaces of the Hofburg…
 
Because that’s what the best historical fiction can do.  It’s history that breathes.
 
With special thanks to Debra Brown for including me in this…and I shall now contact five other authors to see if they consent to being tagged–and among those five I’ve tagged are Terry Kroenung, Jonathan Hopkins, Alaric Bond, Jenni James… 
 

A word about speech tags…

A friend of mine–who is rather a darling–has asked me to write about these things known as speech tags and explain it all in detail. 

Well, I don’t know really what to say about them.  I’m not a world expert.  Though yes, I was a respected book critic for twenty-some years though, so supposedly I do have a clue or three about literary technique and style. 

(But there’s probably lots to be said about them and I’ll probably only be skating over the surface.  Nevermind.) 

(And I’ll be frank–if anyone wildly disagrees with what I say, I don’t care.  And I am so not interested in an argument about this or any thing that if anyone is after that, I suggest they find an angry wasp or something…Life being too short and all that.)

So speech tags.  What are they and what purpose do they serve?

At the basic level they are nothing more than a means of identifying the speaker. 

We, the readers, already know the difference between setting or description and dialogue, because we’re all very clever, and because the text identifies dialogue by speech marks (I believe in the US, these are called quotation marks). 

So those little suckers are the giveaway–someone is talking.  And probably not to himself. 

And let’s imagine we have this conversation which is maybe even a quick-fire round of quipping and teasing.  The first and foremost job of the speech tag is to identify the different speakers. 

Now obviously, if you are Shakespeare and you’re adept at writing dialogue that is so individually distinctive–as he did in Henry V, with Fluellen especially–then you don’t need to worry about speech tags or even consider them.  Your readers will know who’s speaking from the second word of every speech. 

However, for the rest of us…

Anyway, quite often, one will have effectively captured mood and character and all that, so that a speech tag is unnecessary.  The reader knows exactly who’s speaking because that’s how they talk and it’s so obvious through their word choice or syntax that they can’t be mistaken for any other character. 

But because I like to make things easy for readers (sometimes) even in that case, I would use one at least about every four or five lines, just to keep it clear for the reader.   

So that’s the basic reason for deploying the little chaps. 

But beyond that, there’s a whole wealth of mood, emphasis, emotion, and all sorts of other things that can be conveyed beyond the identity of the speaker. 

Search out the synonyms of ‘said’ in a thesaurus and what have you got:  murmured, mumbled, muttered, whined, complained, demanded, exclaimed, whispered, shouted, yelled, burbled, snapped, scolded, barked…

And each of those communicates something far beyond the identity of the speaker.  Those words tell the reader mood, they express ‘how’ the words were said, they even–some of them–carry the tone of voice…

These are powerful words.  These help us build a character. 

For example, if one has a female character and she’s forever scolding, whining, tittering, snapping, and complaining, is the reader inclined to like her?  To engage with her?  Or to hold a negative view of her? 

Because you see, like people, words have emotional baggage attached. 

Those synonyms listed just above, they carry a wealth of meaning beyond just what’s on the page–we can hear them, we know the tone of voice regardless of what accent we speak with, we can even feel them grating on our nerves. 

And so whilst I wouldn’t overload a text with these, I certainly wouldn’t avoid them or hesitate to use them for fear of some ‘style police’. 

I mean, we’re not, I assume, writing primers for five-year-olds and needs must reduce everything to the easiest and most simplistic. 

Obviously, one should be careful not to overdo.  And it may be that once one has established character in the first fifty pages or so, fewer speech labels will be necessary, because the character’s dialogue will convey all those messages of tone and emotion without our needing to spell it out. 

Below, I’m including a passage from Dorothy Dunnett’s novel, Gemini, to illustrate the former method: 

Her voice had hurried a little.  Gelis said, ’It’s all right.  I thought of it too, Esota.’  The woman who had been understanding and friendly–too friendly–to a very young child then called Claes.

Kathi said, ‘It wasn’t all bad.  It was just a pity she didn’t find her own Tristan to make love to.  Being stuck with King Mark de Fleury would make anyone odd.  And speaking of oddities:  what do you think the Princess will do now she’s widowed?  She didn’t mind being married to Hamilton, but he was the King’s choice, not hers.’

‘And now she has a chance to show her independence,’ Gelis said.  ‘Nicholas thinks she’ll demand some sort of security for the Boyd children–she’ll have to bring them up with the Hamiltons, anyway, without a husband to finance them.’

‘That’s what my uncle expects,’ Kathi said. 

And there you have it, each speaker clearly identified for the reader.  And in Dunnett’s hands, the word ‘said’ is such a part of the wallpaper, the fact is, we almost don’t see it, we barely notice it, it’s just there for clarity and it works just as it ought.

Here is Charles Dickens’ use of speech tags, from Martin Chuzzlewit

‘Was it in Pecksniff’s parlour?’ said Tigg.

‘In Pecksniff’s parlour!’ echoed Jonas, fetching a long breath.  ‘You don’t mean when–’

‘Yes,’ cried Tigg, ‘when there was a very charming and delightful little family party, at which yourself and your respected father assisted.’

‘Well, never mind him,’ said Jonas.  ‘He’s dead, and there’s no help for it.’

‘Dead, is he!’ cried Tigg.  ‘Venerable old gentleman, is he dead!  You’re very like him.’

Jonas received this compliment with anything but a good grace…

(N.B. Victorian novelists often use ‘cried’ for ‘said’.  It’s very common–but it’s my impression that for a modern audience it’s a little too Victorian melodramatic to work well…it seems to be overstating the case, where understatement might–to our ears–be more effective.) 

Patrick O’Brian, on the other hand, often doesn’t use speech tags at all, and leaves it all to the reader to sort out for themselves.  And given that he is so enduringly popular, it’s possible that our readers do not need as much hand-holding as we imagine they do.  Here’s a passage from The Nutmeg of Consolation:

‘Firkins is cousin to Lowe and he is connected with the whole Macarthur tribe.  What in Heaven’s name possessed you to run the fellow through the body?’

‘I did not run him through the body.  I pierced his sword-arm, little more; which was moderate enough, I believe.  After all he had knocked my wig off.’

‘But surely he did not just walk up to you and do so without there had been some words beforehand, some quarrel?’

‘I only told him during the course of that dismal feast that Banks did not choose to be acquainted with a man like Macarthur.  He brooded over that for the rest of the meal and attacked me as I walked down the steps.’

‘It was most irregular.  If you had killed him without calling him out in due form, without seconds, there would have been the devil to pay.’

‘If it had been a regular encounter I could scarcely have closed and dashed my hilt in his face, which brought him up with a round hitch.  Besides a formal meeting would have made much more noise–would have done the lout too much honour.  But I do admit that it was a sorry performance:  I am very sorry for it, Jack, and I ask your pardon.’ 

And there, at the last, is yet another manner of identifying the speaker:  the insertion of the listener’s name.  In this case, it was Stephen Maturin, speaking to his friend, Jack Aubrey.  But other than that, O’Brian relies on the reader’s knowledge of and affection for his characters and doesn’t interject speech tags. 

Does it work?  His success would suggest it does.

And here is a final scene for your consideration.  This time written by self.  From the book, Of Honest Fame.  And in it, I used speech tags (and adverbs, haha), or sometimes something altogether different, to create mood as well as to identify the speakers. 

“Right,” Jesuadon concluded.  Apathy, apathy.  I would spell the death of them all.  “Anything else?  Do we know where else he might have gone?  His contacts?  No?  Find out.”

Barnet nodded and drank down the last of his ale, holding it for a long moment in his mouth before swallowing, then motioned to the tapster for another.  He slid a coin across the bar-surface, then leaning heavily on the bar, regarded the head of foam on his refilled tankard with affection.  And then, softly, sweetly even, he murmured, “Tom Ladyman’s brung you a parcel.”

Jesuadon, in the act of downing a glass of porter, narrowed his gaze in surprise.  “What?”

“Tom Ladyman’s gone and brung you a parcel,” Barnet repeated.  And there was a thread of humour in his quiet voice.

His voice now higher:  “I beg your pardon?” Jesuadon gaped.  This was too much.  “What in the devil is Tom Ladyman doing this far north?” he ground out.  “He’s meant to be down in Hampshire, the plaguey sauce box!”

His companion slanted him a glance, the first of the evening.  “‘Tis a very special parcel,” he averred, giving a quick nod of approval.  And again that thread of humour.  “‘Tis waiting for you at Sparrowhawk’s, from what I hear.”

Jesuadon’s temper snapped, that edge of temper which had been threatening all day to break out, now wholly erupting.  “What the devil is all the buggeration about parcels, you fecking poxy quire?”

The lashless man, who had been savouring his information, treasuring it, enjoying it as a sweetmeat in Lent, smiled, showing his decaying teeth.  “‘Tis a lady,” he said, with a swift appreciative wink.

Jesuadon looked at him hard, fury mounting.  “What in the name of all that’s holy would Tom Ladyman bring me a woman for?” he barked. 

The repellent, confident smile grew.  “Well, now, it would appear he grew tired of waiting for the weather to clear, what with Warne being none so keen to take shipments in the rain, as I understand it.  On account of the paths through the Forest being so mired and all.  So he’s took to the High Toby…and as chance would have it, he’s brung you a lady,” Barnet said airily.  And added:  “Perhaps he knows more o’ your habits than me…”

Jesuadon nearly screeched:  “Taken to the High Toby?  What?”  In sudden rage, Jesuadon caught at his hair.  “Tom Ladyman is a hell-born babe and a cursed idiot, and the devil may fly away with him!  Od’s my life, it is bad enough having old Charlie Flint sending the Revenue Officers off in every direction to keep that fool from harm.  But now he’s meant to interfere in Bow Street’s business as well, is he, to protect that bloody young lobcock?  I shall damned well kill him for this!”

I don’t know.  I quite like–have always liked–that scene.  Indeed, it’s one of my favourites.  And I’ve always thought the key to it was balance.  Yes, there is dialogue, but it’s peppered with action and emotion.  There’s nothing static about it. 

Then too, I think that excerpt may illustrate how one can identify the speakers without always relying on he said and she said.  And one can vary the methods used to identify speaker.  There’s ‘said’.  But there’s also those other ‘said’ synonyms. 

There’s the odd use of the effective adverb too. 

Yes, I’ve heard–more times than I’ve had hot breakfasts–of the modern diktat against adverbs. 

And let me tell you, that’s just silly.  No writer worth their salt is afraid to use any part of the language.  Employed properly and well, just like everything else, adverbs are invaluable.  I wouldn’t recommend drowning your text in the things, but use them when you need to.

I mean, compare and contrast: 

“No,” she said vaguely.   

“No,” he said hotly. 

“No,” he said patiently. 

In your mind, did those all not sound differently, perhaps with quite distinct inflections?  They did.  Of course, they did. 

So, when you need an adverb to individualise that tag, use it.  (If you find yourself over-adverbing, I’d suggest taking out half of them on every page.)

And that’s what I know about speech tags. 

Which can be summed up:  have more than one method in your quiver and use what works best at any given time.  What creates the mood you the writer want and need?  And don’t get stuck in a rut…

If you find yourself in a rut and everything’s reading the same, then vary your speech tags with actions or expressions and however many times you need to rewrite to get the scene right and as strong as you can make it, that’s the right number of times to rewrite…

The Chymical Wedding

The Chymical Wedding by Lindsay Clarke.  Jonathan Cape, London 1989.  Alfred A. Knopf, New York 1989.  $19.95.  536 pps.

The intent of the ancient art of alchemy was the transmutation of base metal–lead–into purest gold.  An aberration of the gullible mediaeval mind, you say?  A quaintly arcane footnote to that ultimately superstitious chapter of history, the Middle Ages?  The Chymical Wedding bids one reconsider.

The alchemists maintained that even after ‘the Fall,’ a spark of the divine principle remained in humans; with diligent care and spiritual understanding that base metal–material man–could once again become spiritually whole and golden.  So powerful and transforming is Clarke’s novel that readers will find themselves venturing into the caverns of self-knowledge to rediscover that golden self.

And although Clarke refer to this work as a romance, which it is, The Chymical Wedding transcends the conventions of the genre.  It is at once historical fiction, a philosophical dialectic, a searing commentary on our nuclear age, and a novel of suspense, all of which the author spins out like the best mystery writer in the business.

Fleeing the morass of his crumbled marriage, poet Alex Darken seeks refuge and solace on the quiet depths of rural Norfolk, England.  There, he meets the acerbic, aging poet–Edward Nesbit, the inspiration of his youth–and the poet’s young American companion, Laura.  Intrigued by Laura, enraged and entranced by Nesbit, Darken is drawn from his cocoon of solitude.  He joins the couple in their research on the lives and lost secrets of a Victorian alchemist-poet, Sir Henry Agnew, and his daughter, Louisa Ann.

Paralleling this narrative, Clarke weaves a second in which he related the daily lives of Louisa Ann and her father–the very subject of Nesbit’s investigation.  Both father and daughter are engaged in writing about the Hermetic art of transmutation as a universal panacea.

Like reflex images, the two tales of The Chymical Wedding mirror each other.  Each narrative features a triangle of characters, the contemporary trio mirroring the historical in near perfect symmetry.

Nesbit tells Darken, “Of course, you’re feeling dazed.  Why should you not?  You’ve been struck by lightning after all.  It takes time to recognise that it’s a privilege to be singled out by the gods that way.”

And while the author pursues the innovative and novel, he does not overlook the refinements of what can only be called ‘beautiful style.’  Clarke restores the English and literary to English literature.  His prose is so luminous, so lush with imagery, that he often seems more poet than novelist.  His sentences have a cadence laden with assonance and alliteration.  There is a music to them which begs to be read aloud, to savour phrases as they echo in the ear.

“For a time that young woman had been at her window watching the clouds ferry the October light across the sky as though they were carriers of urgent news.  Except for the rise and fall of her breath she was still…Her dress was of grey silk, its sheen answering to the tilt of the evening light, across the lake, so that she was now little more than a marble’s shadow among shadows.

“For three days, since the month had changed, an easterly had fretted among the trees and would not back, but now she sensed a veering in the air, a softness where things had been gritty and bitter before…The wind gusted to rain beyond the casement.  It was as though the night were throwing small stones at the glass.”

Not since The Name of the Rose has a novel wedded theme and style with such a morally charged punch.  The Chymical Wedding received Britain’s prestigious Whitbread Book of the Year award for 1989. 

May Clarke’s lightning strike a second time.

[This review was first published in The Christian Science Monitor in 1989.]

That thing called ‘voice’…

Only two things have grown in my garden this summer, because of the unlimited buckets of rain and other delights–and that’s slugs and weeds.  And whilst I did get out today to begin to rectify at least the latter of those…

That wasn’t destined to last.  Because it came on to–yes, you guessed it–rain.

So instead, I finished a journal of a Russian cavalry officer who fought against Napoleon, got stuck into a new book on the Leipzig campaign (with really cool maps–I love maps…)  And stewed. 

About a thing which has been driving me abso-flipping-lutely bonkers for some time now. 

Actually, I wasn’t going to say anything about it, because I fancy it may be one of those touchy subjects, but then I read a thing Julian Fellowes said recently American actors:  “I think Americans are wonderful film actors – the best in the world – but they are a very contemporary race and they look forward all the time. There is something about period drama where they tend to go into a strange place called ‘Period’ where people wear funny clothes.

“Whereas I don’t think our actors do that; they make it very real and that is, with something like we’re doing, very helpful. The cast is so much the main reason for its success.”

Apologies if there are those of you offended by Fellowes’ remarks.  (If you’re going to be cheesed off by comments on this blog, I’d prefer it if they were my remarks, not some other blokey’s…)

But anyway, his comments reminded me of this thing that’s really been annoying me.  And that is authorial “voice”. 

Now this can be a pretty tricky subject, especially for those who write historical fiction. 

I mean, there are the obvious problems if your chappie actually spoke mediaeval French or Aramaic or 16th century Hungarian–such as who knows what the heck they sounded like, how and if they expleted, and all of that…But at least we know that we can only recreate–at best–a sense of how they expressed themselves and how they thought.  If that.

Obviously, when one can read the other languages, that can and does provide the author with a clue to a nationality’s modes of thought.  And that can be translatable into the modern vernacular–one can give a sense of their speech and thinking, just dropping in a phrase here, an oath on the Virgin Mary there…that kind of thing.

And I’ve become very interested myself in how German literature of the early 19th century conveys a sense of respect for family members which, even in English writings of the same period, is wholly lacking.  Words or epithets such as ‘most respected’ or ‘most precious’ frequently appear before the words “mother” or “father” or even “brother”. 

And this in turn communicates a sense of the hierarchy of the society, their terms of reference and endearment, the manner in which age and position was treated with deference, and the use of such phrases and words can convey so much about that society when used well and effectively in historical fiction.  It literally can speak volumes.

There’s the syntax as well.  Change English syntax into French syntax, even whilst still writing in English, and suddenly, your character is thinking like a Frenchman.  Add garlick and onions as the old caricature would have it…et voila, l’homme est absolutement un vrai francais, n’est-ce pas? 

Shakespeare was a marvel at capturing the differences in the various nationalities of these Isles through the vagaries of their speech and syntax and expression–read Henry V and see if you don’t agree with me.

But today, the problem with English, it seems to me, is that everyone believes they speak it and furthermore that they speak it well.  And here, I’m talking about the Queen’s English…or even more so, Austen’s English. 

And frequently there’s this sense–where it springs from, I haven’t a clue–that Austen’s English, particularly that used in Drawing Rooms, was this coy, simpering, contrived hybrid of a language, and too many authors attempting to create an early 19th century atmosphere lay this stuff on with a trowel–the pages of their prose all bestrewn with verbal antimacassars.

Yet curiously, in all of Austen’s works, there are really only two or three characters that I can recall who qualify as coy or simpering.  And they would be that prinking man-bait Lucy Steele in Sense and Sensibility and possibly Mary and Elizabeth Elliot in Persuasion

But here’s the thing–these characters are obviously figures of contempt.  Austen writes them with that arch voice to highlight the appallingness, the falseness, the conniving-ness of their characters.  It’s not a compliment!  She’s not intending for us to want to emulate them.  She’s working hard to make the skin crawl off our backs and head for the door. 

So why oh why do modern authors seek to mimic that voice? 

Not only is it teeth-curling, but if it sounded phony 200 years ago, you may believe me when I tell you that today it comes across like aural root canal. 

(Breathe, Bennetts, breathe…In…and out…in…and out…)

Yes, I know Richard Brinsley Sheridan wrote ‘arch’ dialogue in his very successful comedies–but he was writing satire!  Biting satire at that.  And people aren’t named things like Sir Benjamin Backbite or Snake or Lady Teazle in real life.  Those are caricatures!  They wander among the pages of Restoration comedies and nowhere else.  (Okay, yes, Dickens used funny names too–but he was a genius!)

(More breathing exercises here…)

Let me explain by giving you example.  Many years ago I knew a person who was dead-keen to be the next Dickens or George Eliot, or maybe it was Mrs. Gaskell she was hot to emulate.  Anyway, she wrote what she believed was how they wrote and to check for the veracity of her ‘voice’ she’d read her stuff aloud to her children in what she believed was a British accent.  (She was from somewhere in the western US, I think…) 

Now, I am NOT saying that Americans cannot ‘do’ a British accent here.  They can.  Gwyneth Paltrow and Reese Witherspoon are both cracking actresses and both of them have turned in top of the trees Englishy English performances.  Anne Hathaway?  Not so much. 

Where was I?  Oh ya, reading in a false Brit accent. 

Well, I was given a sampling of this performance and all I can say is I’m lucky my eyes didn’t pop out of my head.   To say that it sounded false or forced or frightening may give you a sense of the emotional turmoil it engendered.  My jaw most certainly required wiring, I can tell you–for it had been swinging in the proverbial breeze throughout.  (And yes, that Youtube video of the Austen/Costume Drama rap does skitter across the recesses of my mind here.)

So, what are any of us to do?  I would say, keep it real.  Keep it genuine.  If you can’t get it out of your mouth without sounding like a numpty, then don’t use it.

The good guys in Austen talk straight from the heart.  And they’re not necessarily that prolix either; they don’t beat around the mulberry patch.  Think Captain Wentworth. 

“I can listen no longer in silence.  I must speak to you by such means as are within my reach.  You pierce my soul.  I am half agony, half hope.  Tell me not that I am too late…”

There’s an amazing rhythm and directness in that speech, isn’t there?  A forward drive, which perhaps signifies that Wentworth is above all a man of action. 

(Obviously, the good guys in Mrs. Radcliffe are a different matter…)

But this is surely one reason why Persuasion reads so well, still after 200 years.   Because there’s nothing prissy or arch about the main characters, or even most of the secondary characters.  Wentworth’s sister and brother-in-law are direct and lovely; ditto the Musgroves. 

And that, I do believe, is the voice we’re meant to hear.  That is the voice we should be striving to emulate.  We should be aiming to write dialogue that reads naturally, honestly.  Yes, absolutely we can pepper it up with the language or slang of the period–but that’s got to be used wisely and sparingly.  Otherwise, we stray into the danger of writing caricature…

Yes, we do have the occasional toff who talks like something out of a P.G. Wodehouse novel or like Dorothy L. Sayers’ character, Freddy Arbuthnot.  In real life, they’re referred to as Hooray Henrys. 

There are very few of them about.  And yes, they do have girlfriends whom we refer to as ‘totty’ and who exclaim “Swe-et!” to just about everything.  (It’s a two syllable pronouncement with the first syllable being about an octave higher in pitch than the second.)  But I would suggest writing these successfully could be a difficult thing to pull off–most people wouldn’t believe it…

There’s another problem too–and that is archaic usage or vocabulary.  I avoid that too, within reason.  And I’ll tell you why.

In the King James Version of the Bible, there’s a bit in Acts during the conversion of St. Paul, where Christ said to him, “It is hard for thee to kick against the pricks…”

(I acknowledge that I have a smutty mind–let’s just get that out of the way now.)  So my first inclination upon reading that some twenty years ago was to think in great surprise, “What?”  But then I dismissed that idea, because that was just silly, wasn’t it? 

However, then, it kept me going.  What did that mean?  Were there some sort of stinging spiritual arrowheads poking at the guy or what?  (I have a very literal mind.  Or maybe I read too much C.S. Lewis as a child or something.)

It wasn’t until last spring, when I was reading the entire New Testament during Lent–but reading the J.B. Phillips translation–that I finally discovered what the pricks were.  First of all, they’re not mentioned in the original recounting of Paul’s conversion.  And it’s Paul himself who later mentions them when he’s telling King Agrippa about the event, later in the Acts of the Apostles.  And there he makes it clear.  He’s talking about the “pricking” of his conscience. 

Of course, it finally makes perfect sense! 

But you see my point, don’t you?  What may have been quite normal usage four centuries ago doesn’t mean quite the same thing nowadays.  It’s picked up some alternate connotations and definitions over the years.  So we–who are trying to recreate the atmosphere–need to be careful.

By all means, read the literature of the period, get a sense of their usage, work with it until it feels natural to you both in writing and in speech.  (Robert Low is grand at this, I think.)

But never forget that language is the window through which the reader knows each character’s heart and soul and mind.  That’s really all we the readers have to go on. 

And the bottom line is–and this is the case whether we accept it or not–we may believe we’re writing in a perfectly charming rendition of early 19th century natter, but the fact is, our readers have 21st century eyes and ears…and if it doesn’t work for them, then we’ve failed. 

Literary marketing & advertising…

This is a blog I probably should not write.  And most assuredly shouldn’t publish if I do write it. 

Because frankly, I’m in the mother and father of a bolshie mood.  Grumbletonian doesn’t come close. 

But I think I’m going to do it anyway.  And probably lose friends and de-influence people in the process.  Or something.

The thing is, you see, I am completely and utterly fed up.  

Yes, this is about advertising.  The advertising of books. 

I’ve got so that I loathe and despise it.  Because it’s got so infernally fatuous, so whiningly shallow, so full of charlatanism it could pass for one of those miracle-competitions in 7th century Canterbury. 

There I was last night, fossicking about on the internet, and I come across a thing which says, “Like Downton Abbey?  Then you’ll love Dinglehoppers on Moonbeams… (Or whatever the title of this thing was.) 

(I think that may not have been the title, but you see, I do have a problem with names–I’ve had it for decades–I can’t always remember them, so I substitute one of my own invention.  There was a shop on South Street in St. Andrews when I was at uni there.  It had a name.  It was Mrs + an ordinary surname.  Only I could never remember the surname.  So I always referred to it as Mrs Smith-Taylor-Brown’s.  It may have been one of those.  I can’t recall…I’m digressing.  Sorry.)

Anyway…

I am not ashamed to say I like Downton Abbey.  I like it fine.  I also liked Julian Fellowes’ novel, Snobs.  I liked that very much–found it most insightful.  And I find Downton Abbey a perfectly enjoyable way to seque into the coming week on a Sunday evening. 

Do I like it as much as A Tale of Two Cities?  No.  I do not.  As much as War and Peace?  No.  As much as Tom Stoppard’s Arcadia?  Not Pygmalion-likely.  And not as much as Hapgood, either. 

But this inference that if I liked Downton Abbey, I’m going to lurve this other thing is just plain drivel…and a bit, I don’t know, crawling.

Does this other thing have Jim Carter as Carson, the butler, that pillar of human granite with a voice like roughed-up dark velvet?  No.  It does not.  (Well, I don’t imagine it does.) 

Does it feature Hugh Bonneville walking his grounds with his yellow lab?  Doubtful. 

Does it showcase Julian Fellowes’ pointed, perfect wit, silkily delivered by the sublime Dame Maggie Smith?  Unlikely. 

In fact, there is no way this thing about Peachblossoms or Thingymebobs is going to measure up, is there? 

Julian Fellowes is at the top of his game.  He’s unrivalled and unrival-able at what he does.  And he’s pulled out all the stops for Downton.  And he’s got an award-winning cast that can deliver the goods right on the money.  Every time.

So…there I was, faced with this dubious claim of similarity with a work of great telly-drama…

Hence, I decided to have an eyeball-full of Thingymebobs…I wanted to see what’s being peddled as “like” Downton Abbey

(Yes, yes, I do have a problem with morbid curiosity too…) 

I’ll just say it now, it’s nothing like.  Not anything.  Not in any way, shape or character.  It’s got that claustrophobic, suffocated, semi-hysterical tone one finds in Victorian melodrama.  The overwrought prose is as dense as poured-in-place concrete, or, to borrow a apt phrase from Edgar Allen Poe, “turgid pretension”.  And not a Maggie Smith nor a Jim Carter in sight…

 So it’s an entirely bogus comparison.  It may even be–dare I say it or is this heresy–a lie. 

A big fat whopping lie designed to cozen the consumer into thinking they’re acquiring the literary equivalent of a large box of Fortnum and Mason’s rose creams.  (Yum!)  But they’re not, are they?

So why say it?  Why make a comparison by which one can only look shabby and foolish? 

Moreover, why can’t an author or a publisher or advertiser just say what the thing is?  Tell me what it really, genuinely is?  Why must they tell these absolute clankers?  Because it’s not just dishonest, it also smacks of desperation. 

Or delusion.

And why do people have to measure themselves by some other author anyway?  I don’t get that.  Not only that, I don’t like it. 

Why can’t they be happy to be themselves?  To write well and beautifully, but in their own individual style and voice?  Yes, if there are flaws (and there will be), do the work that corrects them.  But stop claiming to be someone you’re not. 

Stop comparing altogether. 

Because I’ll tell you one thing, I’m not going to buy a book just because it’s been compared to something that’s popular.  (I’m stoopid, but I’m not that stoopid.)

Authors, enjoy who you are.  Find the strengths within and use those.  Learn the weaknesses and master those.  

And for heaven’s sake, don’t tell me you’re on a par with Jane Austen or Julian Fellowes, the Brontes or Charles Dickens or Tom Stoppard.  I know I’m not.  And I’m fairly certain I don’t know anybody who is.

That’s not an insult, it’s a statement of fact.  I also don’t know anyone on par with Dorothy Dunnett or Mary Renault or Patrick O’Brian either. 

I mean, frankly, it’s all a bit like marketing a Wimpy burger as 100% sirloin from an organically-fed herd of Angus cattle, isn’t it?  Which, by the by, is against the law, and Trading Standards would be down on you like a ton of bricks if you tried it.

And these comparisons are not for the author to say.  They’re for the literary critics of this world to judge and say.  They’re the ones who’ve studied these works ad nauseam.  And they actually do know their stuff, bless ‘em. 

(And whatever happened to that hallowing virtue of modesty anyway?)

So, what I want to say is if you want to market your book successfully, tell me what the book is.  The real thing. 

Is it a simple love story set against a backdrop of Restoration England?  If the writing’s good, if the detail work is interesting, the characters engaging, why would I not enjoy that? 

Is it a tale of conflicting Scottish clan loyalty set against the early years of James VI’s reign?  Sounds good!  I’ll read that one.  And why would I not?  It doesn’t need to be compared to Dorothy Dunnett.  Dorothy was a one-off and a brilliant one.  (And I adored her!)  But that’s just the point.  She was a one-off! 

We all are.  And that’s a good thing.  Not a weakness.  It’s a strength.

And one more thing I’d like to say and this concept goes all the way back to Aristotle.  

If one lies, if one tells porkies in order to sell one’s work, not only will I not believe you, I will become–as countless people have done and are even now doing–more and more cynical towards all forms of advertising and doubt every single superlative, every phrase of high-sounding praise.  Even, unfortunately, when they are the truth.

Think about it. 

Righto.  Rant done. 

And since the Olympics are now finished there’s an outside chance that I shall get some real work done today…

A new standard and a fresh start…

A friend recently reminded me of a truism about reading. 

One written by the late, great, American author, John Gardner.  He said:  “We read five words on the first page of a really good novel and we begin to forget that we are reading printed words on a page; we begin to see images.”

And since reading it, I’ve been considering that statement almost every hour.  Deciding whether I believe it or not.  And concluding that I do.  That I think it’s right. 

And not only have I come to recognise the truth of this, but I’ve concluded that I must take this truth into my work to such a degree that it sets a new standard for everything I write from here on out. 

So I find myself having this new standard by which I shall henceforth and forever judge my work.   Those first essential five of every scene of every chapter, of every book, have to be that perfect, that imagistic, that evocative.  Nothing else will do.

And I’ve arrived at this conclusion pretty much at the same time as I was answering the many questions of the inestimable J.A. Beard, for a new interview about the book I’m now writing.  Which interview will appear in the next few days on his website–he’s interviewed me previously, and then, as now, it was a great pleasure. 

But anyway, the new book is called, as I say in the interview, Or Fear of Peace

And I thought perhaps, given all this, that it might be appropriate for me to at least open the book for you and give you those first five words.  And perhaps, even, a bit more…

Sat like a phasmid, still and wingless, his mouse-coloured coat no more seen among the tiles and slates and chimney-stacks than a heap of old sacking, for three days the boy had been watching the house on Mount Street.  Watching from the leads beneath the summer moods of a fitful London sky, watching as the shadows and light trailed across the classical portico and fine brick face, patient under a patient sky, watching as the morning was bleached of colour and the linens dried white in the yard.  Measuring out the hours from first waking to the lingering midsummer dusk which tarried like a dawdling gabey and counting the number of servants that remained within–the housekeeper, a maid, and two menservants.  Clocking their comings and goings, from that time when the scullery sashes were thrown open to admit the day, until the hour of shutting in when the jowly steward went about locking the doors and checking that the upper windows were shuttered and barred.  Perched beside an attic dormer or slouched against the flaunching of an adjacent chimney, the boy watched as the long hot hours dropped like weights, indifferent to the herring gulls and house sparrows which congregated near and far, chirruping and raucous, across the red tile ridges of the rooftops that stretched away in every direction.

Writing again…

For the longest time there’s been this glut of writing advice. 

25 tips to be a great fantasy author.  10 things to make you an ebook bestseller.  What every author should know. 

That kind of thing. 

Maybe it’s the rebel child in me, or perhaps I’m just up myself, but I’m a little tired of being told all the things I must do.  So I’m not going to tell anyone how to write. 

Actually, I’m not sure I’d know where to start. 

And anyway, my all-time favourite response to the Advice on Writing question was given by Margaret Atwood in an interview with The Guardian, when she wrote:

“1. Take a pencil to write with on aeroplanes. Pens leak. But if the pencil breaks, you can’t sharpen it on the plane, because you can’t take knives with you. Therefore: take two pencils.
2. If both pencils break, you can do a rough sharpening job with a nail file of the metal or glass type.
3. Take something to write on. Paper is good. In a pinch, pieces of wood or your arm will do.”

It’s sound advice. 

And there’s really nothing I can add to it:  I use a pencil myself.  And a variety of notebooks and scraps of paper and envelope.  My hand, upon occasion–which doesn’t work so well with pencil, so a pen or marker is better for that. 

Obviously, it helps if you have a good story and some credible characters and a copy of the Oxford Dictionary of Punctuation and Grammar and maybe a thesaurus and dictionary as well. 

But beyond that…well, that’s about it, really.